". . .  cried Alice, ( so much surprised that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English)."  Would that we were in a Lewis Carroll book from which we could step at will and thus return to a sane reality.  No such luck in 2008, however.  With the introduction of a new star into the vaudeville show known as US politics, the incredible has materialized into solid fact.  Sarah Palin is out-Bushing Bush in the degree and fervor of her fanatic religious zeal.  By no means is she the first prominent political figure to flirt with fringe Christianity -- John Ashcroft brought his Assembly of God faith to the Justice Department along with modest drapery -- but the Attorney General wasn't a heartbeat away from the presidency, and he kept his mouth shut about any attempts he may have made to manipulate Divine Providence to his own or the nation's ends.  "God bless America" doesn't count.  It has been reduced to the status of an involuntary "Gesundheit!" when someone sneezes.

For many in America,  hearing about Palin's "nondenominational church" in Alaska may elicit no more than idle curiosity and a vague reference to freedom of religion.  But I've known its kind intimately, and my reaction to the Alaskan bombshell is sheer, unadulterated repugnance and -- I admit it -- fear.  My experience with her ilk is set forth in a kind of "autobioigraphical essay" entitled  A TIME FOR WHITE ROSES (Xlibris Corporation, 2000).  Here is an excerpt from Chapter Six:

         ". . . my most frequent exposure to what passed for religion took place at a hole-in-the-wall ministry called 'The Mission'  The 'man of the cloth' there happened to be a female firecracker with flaming red hair, a characteristic of which she was proud because Jesus was supposedly (according to some Aryan reports) a blue-eyed titian blond himself.  That's about as likely as frostbite in the Sahara.  A sign in the window proclaimed The Mission to be 'nondenominational,' meaning that it defied resemblance to every known sectarian organization and probably went all the way back in recorded history to the day when the Reverence Kitty got the call.

         " . . . when I sang solos a cappella [before I was old enough to read] . . . [I] was a sure bet to draw penitents to the mourners' bench in veritable droves while women wept and 'talked in tongues' or jumped around shouting.  It wasn't lost on me that the Holy Ghost could always be counted upon to descend on the very same people every time and that the choice bore no correlation to the known purity of the beneficiaries' lives the other six days of the week.  All the Christians I have ever known, bar none, practice selective reading of the Good Book; otherwise, some of these zealots would have blundered upon St. Paul's admonition to the Corinthians that they keep quiet when so moved unless another person is present to interpret the message in the common vernacular."

A spokesperson for Palin's church has stated --as if defending against anticipated disapproval from the more conventional religious crowd -- that Sarah herself doesn't "speak in tongues." What a relief!  Imagine the confusion, not to mention consternation, if she suddenly cut loose in the middle of a conference with some weighty head of state.  There's no guarantee, of course, that she won't at some future time be favored by the Holy Spirit with the gift of gibberish, since this is held to be spontaneous and uncontrollable among the elect.  "You pays your money and you takes your chance," ladies and gentlemen.

I suppose some might ask whether a potential President Palin speaking in tongues would be any worse than a President Bush attempting to speak in English, but there's really no comparison.  There's always some ventriloquist in the shadows of this Administration directing his messages, and if they come out garbled in delilvery, they can be explained by their original source or an obliging press secretary.  I seriously doubt that the Holy Ghost will come forward personally to interpret its (his/her?) cryptic lingo, though.  If that were possible, then presumably it would also be possible -- and a great deal less trouble -- just to transmit whatever it had to say in plain English to begin with.

In the meantime, since Barack Obama is a man of faith, I recommend that he fight fire with fire by adopting the following plea of the Psalmist when addressing his petitions to the Almighty: "Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty." (Psalm XXVII:12)

(For more of Ms. Fredman's articles, please visit her blog: http://blog.momsablogger.com.)