Welcome to My Nightmare
January 23, 2009
White House To Make Major Changes
(Washington) The Palin-McCain administration today announced a major shakeup in how the government will work from now on.

Beginning today, President McCain will now be known as the Figurehead-in-Chief, ceding nearly all the day-to-day responsibilities of his office to acting president, chief political commisar, and official liaison to the Almighty, vice-president Sarah Palin.

Speaking from his La-Z-Boy recliner in the Oval Office, a parting gift from President Bush, McCain told reporters he has no misgivings about the reorganization. “Hey look,” the president said, “I told you we’d bring to change to Washington. We all know who the people really voted for. Sister Sarah knows what she’s doing, so who am I to stand in the way? And if she needs me for anything she can just send me a message by the e-mail. Any of you know how to turn on this massage thingy?”

Later in the day, Mrs. Palin held her first official press conference, telling Fox News, the only media outlet given permission to address the vice-president, that “There’s gonna be change all right. Check this out.”

Commisar Palin then announced that Roger Ailes of Fox News would head up the new Ministry of Propaganda. Asked if that might be a conflict of interest, Palin replied she didn’t think so. “I mean, jeez, it isn’t like Mr. Ailes hasn’t been doing this all along anyways, right?”

Asked if she had made all her staffing decisions, Palin replied, “We’re working on that right now. We’re going through my high school yearbook as we speak looking for the most qualified candidates.”

Palin then said that the facility at Guantanamo Bay will soon be closed. “Don’t need it anymore,” Palin said. “See, in my home state of Alaska there’s plenty of room to hold all those terrorists, liberals and anyone who crosses me. Heck we can build a whole network out there. Remember, as a foreign policy expert you think I haven’t been staring out at Siberia all these years without learning a thing or three, like how to construct and maintain a gulag? I mean even the climate’s the same.”

In a related development Palin also said the so-called Bridge to Nowhere is once again on the table. “It’s a true public works project now,” Palin said. “We’re planning on building the main detention center on Gravina Island, and since I already built the road when I was governor all we need to do now is slap up that bridge and start transporting the detainees.”

Turning to economic developments, Commisar Palin said she and the FIC were working on setting up a blue ribbon panel of experts to find a way to move the economy forward without government control. “Basically we want to regulate the regulators,” Palin said. “We know it’s the rich and powerful who really run this country, so why not let ‘em, especially now that we know that not even a president or vice-president is capable of being a CEO - hey you, yes you in the back with the laptop. Stop blogging! Stop blogging right now! Sorry about that, heh heh. Guess I haven’t gotten Alaska politics out of my system yet.”

After composing herself for a minute, Commisar Palin then addressed the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, and the strained relations with Russia. “Who am I to stand in the way of God’s plan?”, Palin asked rhetorically. “If God says stay in Iraq or attack Russia or invade Pakistan, why then that’s what we’ll do. I’m asking all those good Christian soldiers in the Pentagon to draw up a series of attack plans based on their reading of scripture. They’re calling it Operation Rapture. We’re serving notice on the world that we’re going to out-Taliban the Taliban.”

On the domestic front, Palin said the administration has been busy drawing up a legislative agenda consistent with hers, and therefore the country’s, beliefs. “For instance,’”Palin said,  “We all know America is a Christian nation, and that God put white people here to run it. And with the population projections showing that whites will soon be in the minority, and in accordance with my own family values, I’m proposing the Caucasian Youth-fertilization Act, or CYA. The idea is to give any white American girl capable of child-bearing a tax credit for every baby she conceives with a white partner and carries to term, regardless of how or why she got pregnant. Now that’s community organizing.”

Asked if she had anything else to add before concluding, Palin thought for a moment and then said, “Yeah, there is one thing. Y’know that Library of Congress of ours probably has some books in it that folks like me, and therefore the American people, might find objectionable and ought to be removed. Maybe I better have a little talk with that librarian. Hey Todd, pencil that in for me willya.”
wake up wake up wake up wake up
Marvin Gaye






David H. Siegle
151 Pleasant St.
Ware, Ma. 01082
413-967-7800
dsieg@comcast.net

Welcome to My Nightmare                9/22/08
Appx. 800 wds            ©2008

January 23, 2009
White House To Make Major Changes
(Washington) The Palin-McCain administration today announced a major shakeup in how the government will work from now on.

Beginning today, President McCain will now be known as the Figurehead-in-Chief, ceding nearly all the day-to-day responsibilities of his office to acting president, chief political commisar, and official liaison to the Almighty, vice-president Sarah Palin.

Speaking from his La-Z-Boy recliner in the Oval Office, a parting gift from President Bush, McCain told reporters he has no misgivings about the reorganization. “Hey look,” the president said, “I told you we’d bring to change to Washington. We all know who the people really voted for. Sister Sarah knows what she’s doing, so who am I to stand in the way? And if she needs me for anything she can just send me a message by the e-mail. Any of you know how to turn on this massage thingy?”

Later in the day, Mrs. Palin held her first official press conference, telling Fox News, the only media outlet given permission to address the vice-president, that “There’s gonna be change all right. Check this out.”

Commisar Palin then announced that Roger Ailes of Fox News would head up the new Ministry of Propaganda. Asked if that might be a conflict of interest, Palin replied she didn’t think so. “I mean, jeez, it isn’t like Mr. Ailes hasn’t been doing this all along anyways, right?”

Asked if she had made all her staffing decisions, Palin replied, “We’re working on that right now. We’re going through my high school yearbook as we speak looking for the most qualified candidates.”

Palin then said that the facility at Guantanamo Bay will soon be closed. “Don’t need it anymore,” Palin said. “See, in my home state of Alaska there’s plenty of room to hold all those terrorists, liberals and anyone who crosses me. Heck we can build a whole network out there. Remember, as a foreign policy expert you think I haven’t been staring out at Siberia all these years without learning a thing or three, like how to construct and maintain a gulag? I mean even the climate’s the same.”

In a related development Palin also said the so-called Bridge to Nowhere is once again on the table. “It’s a true public works project now,” Palin said. “We’re planning on building the main detention center on Gravina Island, and since I already built the road when I was governor all we need to do now is slap up that bridge and start transporting the detainees.”

Turning to economic developments, Commisar Palin said she and the FIC were working on setting up a blue ribbon panel of experts to find a way to move the economy forward without government control. “Basically we want to regulate the regulators,” Palin said. “We know it’s the rich and powerful who really run this country, so why not let ‘em, especially now that we know that not even a president or vice-president is capable of being a CEO - hey you, yes you in the back with the laptop. Stop blogging! Stop blogging right now! Sorry about that, heh heh. Guess I haven’t gotten Alaska politics out of my system yet.”

After composing herself for a minute, Commisar Palin then addressed the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, and the strained relations with Russia. “Who am I to stand in the way of God’s plan?”, Palin asked rhetorically. “If God says stay in Iraq or attack Russia or invade Pakistan, why then that’s what we’ll do. I’m asking all those good Christian soldiers in the Pentagon to draw up a series of attack plans based on their reading of scripture. They’re calling it Operation Rapture. We’re serving notice on the world that we’re going to out-Taliban the Taliban.”

On the domestic front, Palin said the administration has been busy drawing up a legislative agenda consistent with hers, and therefore the country’s, beliefs. “For instance,’”Palin said,  “We all know America is a Christian nation, and that God put white people here to run it. And with the population projections showing that whites will soon be in the minority, and in accordance with my own family values, I’m proposing the Caucasian Youth-fertilization Act, or CYA. The idea is to give any white American girl capable of child-bearing a tax credit for every baby she conceives with a white partner and carries to term, regardless of how or why she got pregnant. Now that’s community organizing.”

Asked if she had anything else to add before concluding, Palin thought for a moment and then said, “Yeah, there is one thing. Y’know that Library of Congress of ours probably has some books in it that folks like me, and therefore the American people, might find objectionable and ought to be removed. Maybe I better have a little talk with that librarian. Hey Todd, pencil that in for me willya.”
wake up wake up wake up wake up
Marvin Gaye